Some say art imitates life. In this case, life will imitate art: This review, just like this game, will be short, sweet and simple. There isn't too much to clutter up this game, which in this case is a definite advantage.
Cel Damage takes place in a comical, heavily animated universe not unlike that seen in old school shows such as Animaniacs. In fact, the sense of humor throughout the game is probably best compared to Animaniacs and its sister productions by Warner Bros. back in the day. There is no real plot, of course; the whole point of the game is to engage in a destruction-derby-style deathmatch. While each character has an ulterior motive for participating in the carnage, these pretenses are about as thick as sheet of paper after it's been sliced in half three times. But again, the plot is probably the least of the game's concerns, and should be the least of the player's, as well.
On the other hand, the winning category of this game is the graphics. I've been a big fan of the cel-shaded style, and here it is used to maximum effect. The entire game world is a full-scale parody-slash-recreation of a classic animated environment, complete with exaggerated movements such as cars stretching out when they turn suddenly and even rolling circular sawblades that, when they encounter a vehicle, cut the vehicle cleaning in two, leaving the driver standing on the ground in confusion. It's a perfect take on the animated universe as we all know it from the Good Old Days, and they couldn't have hit the nail any more squarely on the head.
The second high point of the game is in its characters, all classic and loveable. My personal favorite is Fowl Mouth, a [bleep]ing duck who drives a classic Thirtiesmobile and pumps his opponents with rounds from a standard-issue gangster Tommy gun, and he's even rendered in grayscale, as opposed to his 16-million-color enemies. Another combatant, Dominique, personifies the stereotypical dominatrix, complete with French accent, all-leather outfit and her signature weapon--a crossbow that fires bolts with dynamite strapped to them. The characters alone are classic remakes of unforgettable cartoon stereotypes, and almost eclipse every other element of the game.
Sound effects fit right in with all the other cartoon motifs that populate the game. Giant spring powerups allow players to leap tall buildings, accompanied by a distinct boing sound on use. In another case, a T-Rex character has the ability to run over others, flattening them with a classic splat noise. Music is just as over-the-top: warbling sci-fi themes, disconcerting spooky overtures and banjo-filled ballads round out the soundtrack. It's all part of the atmosphere of exaggeration, a hallmark of classic animated carnage.
The final notable quality of the game is its physics. Just another part of the animated mosaic, the physics are accordingly loose...very loose. You can easily hit full speed within seconds of holding down the accelerator, and skidding around a hairpin turn certainly isn't anything like Project Gotham or even Need for Speed. Players bumping into one another exhibit the epitome of "shopping cart physics," often simply bouncing off one another regardless of their respective speeds. This helps to complete the totally unrealistic atmosphere of the game world, however, and only seems to add to the fun.
The long and short if it is: this is a classic destruction derby game. It's not deep, it's not cerebral. It's the life lesson of "Shoot 'em all and let God sort it out" writ large. While there isn't much to it initially, there are plenty of extra stages, characters, and modes to unlock while you're out wreaking havoc on the two-dimensional world. If you can beat every stage in every mode, you can even unlock two of the game's boss characters to play as. This, along with the inevitable four-player party mode, means you'll be coming back time and again for some more bloodless horror.
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